I
came across a friends status update a few months ago and it read "
I'd rather be single, never settling or lowering my standards,
while resting my heart patiently waiting for the One." it got me
thinking about the reasons why we get involved in
relationships...and I started asking myself, what if you
never meet the One, then what? Does that mean you remain single for
the rest of your life?
Truth
is for the longest time I was also one of those people who held on so
strongly to the idea of The One...and when I lost my "first
love," I was devastated, thinking this is it for me! Then
growing up happened and I started to question so many of
my beliefs around love and life and it got me thinking
that believing that there can only be one true love for us,
is a belief steeped in scarcity, rather than abundance.
Through
my soul searching I came to realise that relationships are about
learning and growing, meeting people who mirror where you are at and
challenge you to be the best you can be. Never have I gotten this
idea so clearly, than in the past year and a half. And it was the
relationships that didn't make me feel like I was "losing
myself," "falling head over heels in love" that allowed me to really get
it.
Truth
is, not all of us are going to end up with "The One" "Our Soul Mate" whatever you choose to call it(especially the
Hollywood picture they paint for us) but that's no reason to
despair or remain uninvolved, depriving ourselves of meeting and
getting involved with such amazing people. There's so many
beautiful men and women in the world that we can have profound
relationships with, we should never limit our experiences.
So
while we at it, we might as well thank our exes;-) they are our
greatest teachers, but we only tend to really get the lessons, when
we don't "lose ourselves in love" remaining
sober minded enough to really see them, ourselves and
the relationship for what it really is.
So
I thank you, you and you...for allowing me to see that I have such
issues with rejection, helping me define my boundaries, and allowing
me to see that the love I so desperately seek from another, can only
be found in myself. The lessons are profound and so is my gratitude.
It
all starts and ends with us.
Amen to self-love! "It all starts and ends with us."
ReplyDeleteAmen!
ReplyDeleteJa, mara the Hollywood love is a trap. Soapies befoul our minds. I remember waiting for my first love to sweep me off the floor with one move like Ridge Forrester, and leading me to a bed full of rose petals, slowly taking his time to know my body.
ReplyDeleteNeedless to say...
[I'm so glad you're writing. Mxwaaaaa. Love you]
Love you Uhuru, you do know you are my favourite blogger right? Writing is a lil intimidating for me, but doing the things that scare us is how we grow. Enkosi
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